My mind was blank...as it is many a times. So i was thinking of my friends. Then I wondered, how do you find out whether someone is just a friend or a close friend? Of course you should feel comfortable around the person, be able to trust him/her, can confide in him/her blah blah blah. But I came up with one other pointer. It might be useful to you too. But I don't know how you are going to test it out. haha.

"I wanna shit". If you can say this line to any of your friends. Then you should be quite close to them. Well, at least to me, this is a measure of closeness. Though everyone carries out this act, we tend to bury this thought in the last cell of our brains and never talk about it. So, you should check it out too. (:

I bought a Blackforest cake for my mum's birthday. And I want to eat it. But tomatohead and mophead are not home. Freaks.

It's Christmas tomorrow. I like Christmas. It gives out a warm and romantic feeling. Sweet.

Finally, I can ride a bike as part of my much needed workout! Bicycle, not motorbike. Nevertheless, the coolios call is "bike". The bike belongs to a close pal of mine & it was lent to me so that I can attain a slim and sexy body frame in no time at all. haha. Well, I would return the bike once it's job is done.

I booked Seri for a ride around the estate. Don't know when she will be free. This reminds me of the past. Seri and I used to go cycling at least twice a week, weekly, near her place or mine. Miss those days. Seri and I have shared a friendship for 13 years. She was my first friend and I still remember that she was the first one I spoke to when we were lining up in our classes in Primary One. Though we don't keep constant contact now, I think we still do have a special place for each other in our hearts. The 6 years with her in Primary school and outside of school, was one of the best times of my life. And she, one of the best friends of my life.

My sis & I were talking over the dinner table. And we decided to come up with a top-5 handsome black men list. Here it goes:

1. Theirry Henry AND Patrick Kluivert
3. Will Smith
4. Lil' Romeo
5. ?

I wanted Kluivert to be in the first position while my sister was adamant about Henry. As we couldn't reach a consensus, they both tie at the first position. Next would be Will Smith, the well-known Hollywood hottie. Sounds good so far ryte?

At this point, we couldn't think of anymore Black men. We wrecked our brains thinking of all the singers and rappers and actors. Dr. Dre? Snoop dog? Usher? Nelly? No. This had to stop. Were there so little handsome black men we knew? We went back to thinking of more soccer players. But didn't know much. Suddenly Nickelodeon flashed in my mind and I remembered Romeo who, tho little, is cute. 5th position is still vacant as we gave up and finished up our dinner.

In the process of writing this, I feel terrible that I have missed out Cuba Gooding Jr. He's cute. So, there is going to be an amendment.

1. Theirry Henry AND Patrick Kluivert
3. Cuba Gooding Jr.
4. Will Smith
5. Lil' Romeo

p/s: You wanted a verdict, surely you know that I will stick with Kluivert.

I realised sleep never comes when you want it most. When I need to burn midnight oil to study for exams, I become overwhelmed by sleep. But, when I feel alone and want to sleep my problems away, sleep evades me. It's so difficult to fall asleep when nothing but the mind or heart is tired.

When you can't sleep, you think. I am doing just that; thinking of what I will be doing in 2 years' time. I would probably graduate in May 2007. Would have to find a job then and start paying off my debts with the bank and other organisations. I don't know how long that will take. Will I be able to clear the debts in 5 years? I would be 27 at that time, wonder what I will be doing at 27.

The future sometimes seems so bleak. Still, I have to be hopeful. I wish I could be a speech therapist at least, because dreaming of becoming a clinical psychologist is merely dreaming. It is something which is highly improbable because I lack the luxury of both time and money. I think the prospect of becoming a speech therapist is more tangible as some courses are offered in Singapore itself. I just hope I will not end up becoming a housewife right after I get married. Neither do I want to be like the numerous indian muslims girls who do some office work. Not that there is anything wrong in that, but with a degree there is much more you should be able to do. I should stop dreaming.

I wonder why I'm worrying so much about the future when the present itself isn't any better.

Today, a certain someone told me that they are impressed with the LRT. Yes, the LRT. But he said that he liked it because the windows became opaque in response to sunlight....in other words he means that the reason for the opaque shield is to protect passengers from the sunlight. Well, I told him that that was not so. And that the opaque thing comes up when the LRT is riding very close to the apartments and that it serves to heighten a non-existant privacy for the residents. Obviously, he laughed at me and said that he has never heard such a reasoning before. I told him the same and asked him to go for a ride when it rains.

I'm sure Archtomato has something to say about this...

Christmas is here. And so is Rudolph. the pimple on my nose is back, making my nose red like a red-nosed reindeer. Damn. I hate it so much.

Went Orchard today to shop for gifts for gaya and anisah. I could hardly find anything worthwhile and within my budget. And my budget is always low. Felt so tired after eating at Burger King....I felt as if I was carrying something in my tummy the whole while. Fast food is bad. Grr.

I'm going to sleep.

I was reading some old reader's digest issues and came across this under the laughter section.

"An ant and an elephant had a night of torrid romance. Next morning, the ant woke up to find the elephant dead. "Just my luck!" sighed the ant. "One night of passion and I end up spending the rest of my life digging a grave!"

Pretty cute I think. More so than the story is the fact that an ant an elephant are together. How the hell do they have a night of torrid romance?

Some people seemed to agree so much with the thing about MEN mentioned in my previous entry. Part of it is true, even for a woman. Some of it is high class bullshit, which does not apply, especially to those who do not even go to coffee bean.

But I guess that's the gamble in life.

p/s: not everyone can be a playboy even though you might claim you have a PHD in it.

Just last Thursday, I was looking forward to the end of my exams. I should have known... happiness for me is always short-lived. One month of hols is gonna suck big time... Basically, all through my Uni life (already half is over), my life has sucked and I haven't enjoyed my hols one bit, especially last year, with 3 months of break in my hands I couldn't bear it. I thought I had a life, well now I am back again feeling like a piece of shit.

Why don't I ever learn from previous experiences? Damn it.

I was browsing the net and came across something interesting and quite funny. It's all about MEN, thanks to http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/131_dating_advice.html

"Why We're Afraid Of Commitment

Men love their freedom. For many guys, the very thought of making a commitment to one women for the rest of their lives is enough to send them sprinting for the hills. The dreaded "C-word" implies compromise, loss of independence, the sacrifice of sexual variety, and the looming specter of financial devastation.

1. No more freedom

We men are extremely independent by nature. We like to make our own decisions and run our lives by our own rules. We want to do what we want when we want. But when a woman enters the picture, all the choices a guy simply used to take for granted -- going out for a beer with his buddies, buying a big screen TV, playing golf on Saturday afternoon -- suddenly have to be cleared with her first. And her answer is almost always, "No -- we're a couple now" (translation: "We're going to do things my way"). Almost overnight, we find ourselves trapped, doing what she wants to do, regardless of his own wants or desires.

2. One sex partner, forever

We naturally crave sexual variety. When we commit -- either in marriage or cohabitation -- we willingly volunteer to cut ourselves off from any other sexual pursuits. Sexual boredom can set in, followed by a total lack of desire. For a lot of us -- even guys who weren't getting a lot of action anyway -- this can be the scariest consequence of all.

3. Can't trust a woman

We learn pretty fast that many women can't be trusted -- they're always looking to upgrade, to latch onto a man with more money, more status and more stuff to sex-ploit. Commitment to a relationship means putting your heart on the line, and none of us want a sharp stiletto heel spiking us in the back as our ex-girlfriend scrambles over us to get to the next guy."

And there are many more reasons! The next one is funnier, it's about how to be a bad boy.

"How to be a bad boy

You know the type -- the swaggering, cocky, macho jerk who treats women like they're replaceable, while they're waiting in line to climb into his bed. Men hate these guys, yet women love them.

The typical Bad Boy

• is cocky, arrogant
• always puts himself first
• is inattentive to a woman's needs
• does what he wants when he wants to do it, regardless of what anyone else thinks
• acts like a loose cannon
• struts his masculine sexuality
• isn't even remotely a "nice" guy
• treats women badly
• often uses women for sex

The trick is to learn to take the Bad Boy's negative traits and spin them in a positive direction to make them work for you -- in other words, to become a Bad Boy without really being "bad." This way, you can still maintain your gentleman status without turning into an abusive jerk.

Here are a few things you can do to improve your Bad Boy status:

1. Dial up the independence
2. Make yourself scarce
3. Turn on the confidence
4. Don't show emotions. Be indifferent and don't show you care. You should have a poker face at all times. Remain mysterious and don't let women know what you're thinking. Keep them guessing.
   Furthermore, ration your words and make sure everything you say has a purpose. Don't volunteer information. Simply answer a question if asked.

Bad Boys may be jerks, but they have a lot to teach the average guy about attracting women. By observing a few of these typical Bad Boy traits in action, you can learn to use them to your advantage without giving up your nice status."

I've just lifted the points I found interesting, there's so much more. You can check out the webby, there are other things which are bound to be of interest to you. May you enjoy the fruits of your labour in being a postively bad boy.

In life, there are so many kinds of people that you come across that they all cannot be classified into a neat package.

However, I realized there are at least 3 groups who can be identified. The first of which is those that are dominant. These are the people who seem to be omnipresent, involved in everything, all bubbly & cheerful, there to brighten the scene and maybe make everyone laugh. When they are gone, some people will miss them. Perhaps only for a while.

Then there are those who are irreplaceable. These are the people who make you feel like their presence makes all the difference in your world. They are those "you can't help but fall for and no matter how hard you try and how much it hurts you everyday, you just wanna be with them or just talk to them, you never stop trying to make them happy by the little things you say or do because that's what makes your life worth going on for." Needless to say, if such a person decides to leave your life, you (you are probably the replaceable type) become distraught. And it takes a whole lifetime to get over such a loss.

There are also those who are easily replaceable. Most, for the obvious reason that they suck. Sadly, some become replaceable for no apparent reason. They give all their love to someone but somehow fail to make an impact on anyone's lives such that their presence is neither appreciated nor their departure, felt or bereaved. Since you have a grossly distorted perception of things, you end up victimising them instead.

Out of all, the replaceables are the hardest hit for foolishly loving, they receive hate words and hurt in return, only to stare back into the abyss from which they thought they had been eternally rescued, to sustain their ethereal existence once again.

The cognition paper yesterday sucked big time. But! Exams are over! I am so so happy about that. One month of total boredom and ignorance awaits! :)

We went to watch Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire yesterday. Was quite nice. But like the ones before, the movie didn't do justice to the book. Good parts of the movie were the fight with the Dragon and the last part where Voldemort returns (and the death of Cederic Diggory is sad, all the more poignant as he is good looking). And I hate the new Dumbledore! He looks more like a comic relief in the movie than some respectable man. (In my mind, I really see Dumbledore as highly respectable and noble.) Well, at least I don't need to cry when the 6th book comes out as a movie. I couln't sleep the day I finished reading the book. But if Dumbl-ee-dore is going to be like this, then I have wasted my time.

Well, I had fun. At the movie's, in the bus. Everywhere. Haha.