It's been quite a while since I last wrote. My convocation was over just about a week ago. It went well. Finally graduated. :)

In other news, I am currently undergoing a 4-week Enhanced School Experience in a primary school. It's meant to be a period of exposure for untrained teachers. Incidentally, I have been posted to my very own primary school. A few of my teachers are still teaching there, and it feels strangely nice to be back in a familiar environment again. Everything is going well so far; I have 2 cooperating teachers whose lessons I had to observe for the first 2 weeks of my stay in the school. From week 3 onwards, I have been taking over their lessons. The lessons have been going quite smooth generally. One more week in school and hope it's going to go just fine!

Life has become a routine ever since the end of exams. I wake up, watch tv, read my book, come online, read my book, come online and then go back to bed. Oh...and of course I eat alot along the way. Haha. But it's okay I guess. I wanted to call up schools for relief teaching and I did. Called up 2 schools. But to my horror, my application had expired and I have to apply again. Grr. And that will take another month to get approved!

Recently, I have taken a liking to watching Beauty & the Geek every morning. It's this show where pretty girls and really geeky guys come together to make more out of each other, to help each other. So, the girls are supposed to get smarter and the guys more confident and comfortable with themselves. Pretty interesting cos the girls are really quite dumb. One of them said the capital of Iraq is Afghanistan and she and her geek (my fav geek!) had to go home that week. So, maybe I had overestimated many American girls.

Well anyway, what I actually wanted to say is that I liked a lot of the geeks. They were so cute and unsure. It's totally unlike the usually overconfident and cocky American guys. So I can imagine how they will feel in that culture. I liked almost all the geeks cos they were funny and I was actually sad for about 10 mins after my favourite geek went home. Haha. So, the show taught me that geeks are kinda cool too and they aren't actually that wierd.

Yes! I can hear you! The show is still on, few more pairs til the ultimate showdown. Next week is probably the last. You can catch it on channel 5 at 10.30 am.

Read Fiza's blog and got reminded of the good old days. Crescent days were bliss. Going to school, going out...even studying. Everything was so different. Guess those times will never return.

Fine memories. One was when we went to Tanglin Mall on a Saturday after school. While having breakfast at MacDonald's, Sheryl came running to tell us that Mrs. Siah was in the house. Haha. Funny how scared we were at that time; everyone just scrambled out of the Mac.
'No loitering in school uniform'.

What kinda stupid rule is that? No one was loitering, we were there for breakfast.

And now every bastard is carrying a handphone.

Good news! I got a teaching contract. :) So, it's all good.

Someone I know (knew) died 2 days back. Suicide. Saaaad.

It's only when someone dies that you realise how lucky you are to be alive (even if it's not going all that good at the moment).

When I'm too bored, and when it's too early to start reading the textbook, I ut-serve. And then I see these beautiful clothes and feel sad all over again.

Nevertheless, here are a few of the beauties, some that can only be looked at, others more affordable...




Check out www.utsavsarees.com

Sch has started yet again. Really boring, bad and nasty modules this time. Thank god it's the last semester.

I went for an interview for NIE last week. I think I screwed up. The outcome is in 15 days. The wait is horrible. I keep thinking about it, it's like constantly having a stone in your ass. My OCD is getting the best of me. Wish I could hibernate for 2 weeks and wake up to find the 'On Government Service' envelope next to me. Arghh!

Yikes.! It's been long and much has happened. But it's all good. Exams over, I'm settled (with what.. you wonder?) and cousin married. Met a friend and learnt of her unfortunate tale with her 2-yr boyfriend. I don't know what's the deal with Indian guys and mother sentiment. Should have never goten into a relationship if you don't want your mum to commit suicide. Morons....! And drama-mama mothers are such typical bullshit....damn it, like some hindi movie.

I realised I have been dead for some time. Missed out a month! October was a very busy month. Fasting, bunny's birthday, Pria's birthday and Eid! Everything went well. :)

I have been eating a lot these days. To make things worse, there is some food machine everywhere in NUS. Kirthana and I have been studying in school after lessons. And both of us are pigs. Instant noodles, old chang kee and Mac Donald's! I'm going to start rolling around soon.

It's 7 days into Ramadan and I'm still suffering with hunger pangs occasionally. I guess that's the point of fasting. It is difficult studying in an empty stomach though. Anyway, mid-term break, sadly, has come to an end. So it's back to school for me.

In other news, I made brownies today. Q. yummy.

After some time, a movie quite worth the while. Nice couple, good movie, great songs.

i admire fiza and her boyfriend. i don't like dasavathaaram. i hate bio psych. i hate imf even more. much much more.
stupid. dumb. screwed up. frustrated. MAD! this is what it feels like. don't know why. shit. give me a knife and i will kill somebody. or maybe you can shoot me instead.

O, happy day. Happy, happy day. The weather has been pretty good since yesterday. This calls for a song and dance.

Hope this lasts...

An interesting Zen proverb:

"There was a man
who was so distubred
by the sight of his own shadow
and so displeased with his own footsteps
that he determined to get rid of both.

The method he hit upon was to run away from them.
So he got up and ran.

But every time he put his foot down
there was another step,
while his shadow kept up with him
without the slightest difficulty.

He attributed his failure
to the fact that he was not running fast enough.
So he ran faster and faster, without stopping,
until finally he dropped dead.

He failed to realize
that if he merely stepped into the shade,
his shadow would vanish,
and if he sat down and stayed still,
there would be no more footsteps."

`Chuang-Tzu

Zen practice blocks the impulse to run away from reality. It provides us with "shade," it lets us examine the moment perfectly so we might realise that the footsteps we are running from are our own.

You may be a bit Dependent

You're more than a little preoccupied with being abandoned. You need a lot of support in your life, at all times. It's difficult for you to survive on your own... And you don't reallly think you ever could.

What Personality Disorder Are You?

Makes me sound like a big retard.

Tomorrow is my free day, finally. School is such a drag. Just 3 weeks into school, already there are so many deadlines to meet. Sad.

Lately, I have been mean and bitchy to some people. Hmm. What the hell's wrong with me, I dunno. But anyone who is going to end up with me, is going to have a hard time. But on the brighter side of things, I had a dream that I died in a car crash, and I was 31 at that time. So, maybe it's not so bad... just another 10 more years of my torture.

Life and Drama

Life, like drama, is about universal human action and what can happen when well-intentioned human actions miscarry. They have effects that are unforeseen, because we are humans, not gods. We simply do not know the consequences of everything we do. Nonetheless, and this is the root of human tragedy, we remain responsible for our actions.

School has started. And I have a feeling it's going to suck. Another sem with 6 modules, grr. I lost my pencilcase on tuesday and it felt shitty. And seems like it's been found today. Lame shit. Did I say I hate my tuition kid?

Life is an elusive pig. I feel like a bipolar freak. Wonder why I'm studying psychology...

The real test of love (and even friendship) is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?

I think I can, with some people...

my bolster. mangoes. good hairdays. peanut butter. a certain suthamaana dog. a cool and windy night. good music. mcspicy burger. people i love. rainy days when im home. tea. going for a joyride. meaningful silence. twinkling stars. huggs.

the things i like, wish there would be a day when all of these occur at the same time.